Safe If We Stand Close Together: Changing Times
by setepenre-set
Summary: Roxanne and Syx, on the edge of becoming teenagers together. (follows Star Sweater in the Safe If We Stand Close Together series.) Don't copy to another site.


"It really looks like the constellation?" Roxanne, holding the hem of her shirt up a few inches and pushing the waistband of her jeans down slightly, peers down at the group of freckles on her hip.

"Really-really!" Syx says, nodding enthusiastically.

"That's so cool!"

Roxanne lets go of her shirt and her jeans and sits down at the kitchen table with Syx, pulling her feet up to sit on them. Her hair is still wet from the pool, and she felt a little cold in her mother's air conditioned apartment. She wishes her dad had stopped and gotten them hot chocolate on the way back from taking the two of them to the pool, but he'd gotten a phone call and had to rush off to the office. He'd cut their time at the pool short, actually, dropping Roxanne and Syx off at her mother's early; Roxanne's mother isn't even home yet.

Roxanne pushes aside her annoyance with her dad, focuses on Syx. They'd been at the pool still, sitting on the edge of it together, dangling their feet in the water, when he'd glanced down at her hip and made a surprised kind of face.

Roxanne had looked down at herself a little self-consciously.

(she really isn't sure about this new two piece bathing suit; when they'd been in the department store, shopping for her swimsuit, her mother had said she could get a two piece since she's turning twelve this year—so it had seemed to Roxanne like maybe that meant she should get a two piece since she's turning twelve this year, but—)

Looking down, though, she hadn't seen anything wrong with her swimsuit or her skin—she'd asked Syx what he was staring at and he'd looked up, with a bright and excited smile, and told her that the group of freckles on her hip were arranged in the shape of a constellation from the skies of his planet.

"What did you say it was called?" she asks Syx, now.

"Alte-re," Syx says.

"And she's a goddess?"

"The goddess," Syx says. "The best one! The queen of the stars. She's the ruler of the pan-thay-on!"

"Pantheon," Roxanne says.

"Pan-the-on," Syx repeats, "yes."

"What are the rest of them?"

"Oh, there's lots and lots!" Syx says, "Khel-tek's the goddess of the sun—she's Alte-re's sister, and Malir-tek is the fertility deity, and Ivri-roh is married to Alte-re—"

"Ivri-roh?" Roxanne repeats the name. "What's he the god of?"

"That's—" Syx frowns, tilting his head, "—no, Ivri-roh wasn't a he."

"Ivri-roh's a goddess, too?" Roxanne asks, surprised and a little fascinated.

"—no," Syx says, still frowning, "Not—Ivri-roh is—is—" he gestures, a sharp, quick motion, and makes a noise of frustration. "This language is unsatisfactory. There aren't enough words."

"So—Ivri-roh wasn't a he," Roxanne says, "and—Ivri-roh wasn't a she, either? How…"

She bites her lip, trying to understand, wanting to understand, needing—

(unsatisfactory, Syx says about her language. not enough)

(Roxanne—Roxanne doesn't ever want to be not enough, doesn't ever want—doesn't ever want Syx to look at her and think unsatisfactory)

"Is—is—Ivri-roh—both?" she asks hesitantly. "Like—switching back and forth? Like Loki in Norse mythology?"

"Yes—no—" Syx says. He makes a face. "No—I—no. Malir-tek is both. But not switching; Malir-tek is both at the same time. Which is…oh."

He trails of, blinking, looking surprised. Roxanne looks at him questioningly.

"We've spoken before," he says, "about how gendered clothing won't be appropriate for me until adolescence, yes?"

Roxanne nods—Syx only stopped wearing jumpsuits last year, and he still doesn't wear anything that's actually totally boy clothing. All of the pants and shirts he has are things that Roxanne might wear herself.

"I've—I've never actually explained why, though, have I?" Syx says.

Roxanne tilts her head. Explained why? She always assumed it was just—

"Isn't it just, like, a maturity thing?" she asks, "Like how—"

(like how she had a two-piece bathing suit now that she was turning twelve)

"—like how miniskirts aren't okay until you're a teenager?" she finishes.

"Not—exactly," Syx says. He shakes his head. "I—I can't believe I never explained this to you! It's such a—I won't pick my real name until then, too; you know that, because names are something you choose?"

"Right," Roxanne says, nodding. They've definitely talked about that before.

"Gender is something you choose, too," Syx says.

Roxanne stares at him.

"You choose your gender?" she asks. "But—I mean—you're a boy. Aren't you?"

"Not technically?" Syx says. "I mean, yes, my documentation says that, and that's how people refer to me, and humans tend to default to male anyway, so it's easier to go with it, but I'm not actually anything; I won't be anything until I get older and decide."

Roxanne stares at him some more.

"But—but how does that work?" she says finally, "I mean—" she waves a hand vaguely at him, feeling herself blush, "you know—how does it—work—physically?"

"Oh!" Syx says, looking a little embarrassed, too, as he catches her meaning. "Well—after you choose, there are certain foods that you eat to catalyze the, um, the proper hormone production and your body sort of—develops. The—secondary sex characteristics," he finishes rather quickly. "So you get, um. breasts-or-facial-hair-or-both. Both is also a possibility. Which is what Malir-tek is."

"—both," Roxanne says—

Right, yes, they were—talking about the M'ega gods—

(Syx isn't—Syx isn't a boy? Syx—)

"—but Ivri-roh isn't both," Roxanne says, wrenching her thoughts back to their mythology discussion.

"Exactly!" Syx says, "Ivri-roh is—" he gestures, one-handed, looking more comfortable now as he settles into the explanation. "All right—so there were three genders you could choose when you got old enough, but there was actually a fourth choice; you just sort of—weren't supposed to choose it. But it was where you don't eat any of the catalysts and you don't develop any identifying gender characteristics. So you're still neither, even though you're an adult. Ivri-roh is that."

"—one of your gods was that, but you weren't allowed to be that?" Roxanne asks, frowning. "That doesn't—"

"You were allowed to choose it," Syx says, waving a hand at her, "it was just—considered weird. Also Ivri-roh is the god of the ocean. Which is the answer to your original question."

"Oh," Roxanne says.

Yes—of course, the—the ocean. She'd wanted to know—

"—but what about everything else?" she blurts out.

Syx tips his head inquiringly.

"Everything else?"

"Everything—" her face burning, Roxanne gestures at him again, more vaguely, but with greater emphasis. "You know. The rest of the—physical—the—what about the primary sex characteristics?" she finishes desperately. "How—what—everything just grows? Just—everything? Doesn't that hurt? How can that be possible?"

"Oh!" Syx says, eyes widening in understanding, "oh, you're thinking—no, no, the actual reproductive organs don't actually really differ across the sexes! The function differs, and the organs do mature and change during puberty, but not—not quite as dramatically and painfully as I think you're imagining."

Roxanne stares at him, her eyes very wide.

"—the same for all the sexes?" she says. "Reproductive organs are—the same for all the sexes?"

"Yes," Syx says, "not like humans. Much less sexual dimorphism."

Not like—but then—but then how—what—?

Roxanne flushes deeply.

Syx, watching her face, tilts his head.

"Did you have another question?" he asks, a mischievous smile beginning to curve his lips.

"No!"

"Are you sure?" Syx says, voice sing-song and angelic, a wicked glint in his eye. "Are you sure you don't have another question, Roxanne?"

"No! Stop it!"

"You're not sure you don't have another question?" Syx says teasingly.

"Stop it!"

"Because you look like you might have another question—" Syx says, grinning at her.

"I want to know what the reproductive organs look like!" Roxanne bursts out, "Obviously! Ugh, stop laughing! I was trying to be considerate!"

(she's laughing now, too, though, even though her face feels like it's on fire)

Syx is still laughing; Roxanne uncurls one leg from underneath herself to kick him in the ankle.

"Why would you make me ask if you already knew the question, you jerk?"

"I wanted to see how long you could keep from asking," Syx says, snickering.

"You're evil; so evil!" she says. "Why are you so evil!"

He makes an affectionate hissing noise at her and Roxanne makes a face at him. He grins.

"Hand me a pen and a piece of paper," he says, "I'll draw you a diagram."

* * *

 ** _...to be continued._**

* * *

 **Happy Day 13 of my Birthday Fic Month! This is also day two of the tumblr Valentines' Day week; the prompt used for this was 'cultural differences'.**

 **And thank you all so much for the birthday wishes on my actual birthday yesterday; they made me very happy!**


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